1994

1994
While writing…
Oh, confusion bounds me, it sees me, it wrecks me
It renders me faithless, it renders me thin.
It consumes all my hatred, it eats up my roses
It digs me a grave and shovels me in.
My head in A  MAZE of pitfalls and boobytraps.
Eric is there – a monster? A savior? A leaning post, a companion, a teacher, a preacher, a murderer, a loser, a basket of SIN?
How do I do it? How do I think it?
How do I say it or feel it or know?

Unsure of myself
Is this just the Dance of the Absurd?
I reserve myself from that judgment
Because I can create something better.
I can see the sun
And the mountains in the sky
And I know that it is not part of that crazy dance.
But do I  fit in that heaven?
It tells me so
It invites me to dance
Even though I am so clumsy.

Fresh start
Oh, I feel as though I’ve traveled eons in the past two years.
I can feel myself in the doorway – gently gliding through
Belonging here, and I’ve been here before
Welcome, the cool breeze tells me
Time waves in my higher consciousness
Eternity waves hello
Wisdom enters
Wordless lovers
Sisters, brothers
Soulmates in a sea
Light enters
And I greet her,
Arms open,
Soul wide.